The Married Minority
Most women in America today now live without a husband, said a recent article in The New York Times (Sam Roberts, "51% of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse," Jan. 16, 2007).
The finding rested on the last census, which reported that "In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000."
"Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways governments and employers distribute benefits," the article said.
Why is this? The writer's sources gave two main reasons.
First, women live longer than men and are more likely to be widowed, and Americans in generally are living longer nowadays (hence more widows). And once widowed, women are less likely than men to remarry.
Second, the statistics are "reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women." We think this means the influence of feminism, no-fault divorce laws, and a greater societal toleration for cohabitation and out-of-wedlock birth.
But we're more interested in factors that the sociologists did not mention.
1. On the whole, the church in America has not sufficiently supported families--morally, doctrinally, and economically (when necessary).
2. The entertainment industry and the public education establishment work very hard to undermine marriage and the family.
3. Certain government policies discourage marriage. For example, if two Social Security recipients marry, one of them will lose his or her monthly benefits. We all know senior couples who live together without marriage for that very reason.
4. The Bible says, "For when I shall have brought them into the land which I sware to their fathers, that floweth with milk and honey; and they shall have eaten, and filled themselves, and waxen fat; then they will turn unto other gods, and serve them, and provoke me, and break my covenant" (Deuteronomy 31:20). In other words, life in America is too easy! Our very affluence saps the self-sacrifice and self-discipline so necessary for lasting family life and faithfulness to God. "Single moms" no longer need husbands to support them and their children: they can work and earn more money than they used to, and there are government programs to "help" them.
To remove the family is to remove a barrier between the individual and the state, and to remove the state's chief competition for the people's loyalties. This is also why secular statists seek to undermine the church. The erosion of marriage in America has received much encouragement from this quarter.
Is it possible to reverse this trend?
We can't control what other people do, or how they live their lives, or what messages they choose to listen to. But we can recommit to our own families--stay married, "for better or for worse," have children, and raise them up to be godly adults who will establish godly families of their own.
We can recommit to the church--insist that whatever church we join be biblically faithful, strong in its support for the family as the basic social institution ordained by God. And we must tithe (or at least come as close to it as possible), so that the church has the resources to support families. Churches with plenty of money, but no commitment to God's word, will not apply their money in a godly way; but biblically faithful churches will.
Christians in America have let the family slide for too long. Even the sociologists cited in the Times article admit that a stable marriage is good for both the adults and the children in the family. But too many people are too selfish, too shallow, or too distracted by personal and career considerations to make a strong commitment to marriage and family.
Meanwhile, reconstruction of family life must, as always, start with us--our families, our churches.
The finding rested on the last census, which reported that "In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000."
"Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways governments and employers distribute benefits," the article said.
Why is this? The writer's sources gave two main reasons.
First, women live longer than men and are more likely to be widowed, and Americans in generally are living longer nowadays (hence more widows). And once widowed, women are less likely than men to remarry.
Second, the statistics are "reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women." We think this means the influence of feminism, no-fault divorce laws, and a greater societal toleration for cohabitation and out-of-wedlock birth.
But we're more interested in factors that the sociologists did not mention.
1. On the whole, the church in America has not sufficiently supported families--morally, doctrinally, and economically (when necessary).
2. The entertainment industry and the public education establishment work very hard to undermine marriage and the family.
3. Certain government policies discourage marriage. For example, if two Social Security recipients marry, one of them will lose his or her monthly benefits. We all know senior couples who live together without marriage for that very reason.
4. The Bible says, "For when I shall have brought them into the land which I sware to their fathers, that floweth with milk and honey; and they shall have eaten, and filled themselves, and waxen fat; then they will turn unto other gods, and serve them, and provoke me, and break my covenant" (Deuteronomy 31:20). In other words, life in America is too easy! Our very affluence saps the self-sacrifice and self-discipline so necessary for lasting family life and faithfulness to God. "Single moms" no longer need husbands to support them and their children: they can work and earn more money than they used to, and there are government programs to "help" them.
To remove the family is to remove a barrier between the individual and the state, and to remove the state's chief competition for the people's loyalties. This is also why secular statists seek to undermine the church. The erosion of marriage in America has received much encouragement from this quarter.
Is it possible to reverse this trend?
We can't control what other people do, or how they live their lives, or what messages they choose to listen to. But we can recommit to our own families--stay married, "for better or for worse," have children, and raise them up to be godly adults who will establish godly families of their own.
We can recommit to the church--insist that whatever church we join be biblically faithful, strong in its support for the family as the basic social institution ordained by God. And we must tithe (or at least come as close to it as possible), so that the church has the resources to support families. Churches with plenty of money, but no commitment to God's word, will not apply their money in a godly way; but biblically faithful churches will.
Christians in America have let the family slide for too long. Even the sociologists cited in the Times article admit that a stable marriage is good for both the adults and the children in the family. But too many people are too selfish, too shallow, or too distracted by personal and career considerations to make a strong commitment to marriage and family.
Meanwhile, reconstruction of family life must, as always, start with us--our families, our churches.
