"Ask Dad": My Patriarchal Home
I rule my home with an iron fist. I'm the father--the head of the household--and the Bible clearly instructs both women and children to submit to a father's divine authority. My family does not command me. That would be out of order. In fact, it was only ONCE that my wife ever attempted to "tell me what to do." Here's how the exchange developed:
Wife: Chris, come and do these dishes!
Me: No! I will NOT come and do those dishes... not until I'm done with this ironing!
Although my story is fiction, my wife has long been a source of godly instruction within our home. In all honesty, I was not prepared properly for the role of a father and husband. Sure, I could size up a problem objectively and make a decision, but being a nurturing parent and spouse would come via "on-the-job training." However, my wife was a natural, and I'm still amazed at the love, goodness, kindness, and care that she shows for our children, myself, our pets, home, friends, etc. When it comes to being human, she's been one of my best teachers.
Yet, my wife also understands the blessing that comes with kicking decisions upline. In other words, "Ask Dad." But, the real challenge comes when I then say, "Ask Mom." Our poor kids.
Seriously, the Bible provides us with a divine order for the home--as it does for all of society--and that order is necessary to social stability. The problem, as in all systems, is that of sin. This is a Rushdoony axiom: "there are no metaphysical solutions because our problem is always ethical." Whether you're discussing the proper model for the family, or the proper system for economics, all systems fail because of sin. Socialism versus free market is a nonsensical discussion if man remains sinful. So is the discussion of a male-led home. Sinners will abuse any model.
The unbeliever makes marriage a discussion of equality when it is actually a discussion of order. When discussing order, the question is always, "what comes first?" Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--equal in kind, but not in order when revealed in history. The Father is first, and the Son demonstrates submission without complaint (John 8:26, 28, 29, 38, 42). The Spirit is sent forth from the Father and the Son, and He also ministers under submission (John 16:13). The man was created first (1 Tim. 2:13), and therefore retains primacy in divine order in the home (Eph. 5:22-23). However, this only makes him the "first servant" (Matt. 20:26-27; 23:11).
This is godly order, and this must be defended. At present, my right to "command my household" (Gen. 18:19) to serve God is not under threat. My children do not attend public schools, so there is no danger of that sewage reaching their minds. They were taught the commandments of God and willingly embrace that worldview. I shield them. I protect them. I isolate them as best I can. I systematically disparage the lunacy of liberal man, and my older sons are quite adept at doing the same. (You bet your life I'm protecting them. The quackery of humanistic secularism remains the ideological virus of greatest concern.)
It's not, however, "gay marriage" that immediately threatens my right to serve God within my household. It's the paranoid propaganda of the Christophobics that are spewing venomous lies that Christian homeschooling families are raising a generation of children to take up arms in some sort of genocide of liberals. This has consistently been the central motif in the secularist's theocratic conspiracy theory: the threat of genocide.
I honestly don't know how to respond to that allegation. The very idea is beyond repulsive to every Christian I've ever met. Our critics attempt to tie the isolated incidents of attacks on abortion clinics and doctors as somehow representative of the whole of conservative Christianity. They use this wacko conspiracy theory to stop conservative Christians from practicing their religion. So much for the religious freedom these bleeding hearts claim to tout.
Sinful man has always resisted God's ordained order. In religious terms, this is the essence of man's struggle throughout history. The issue is summed up in the oft-quoted refrain from Van Til: "autonomy or theonomy." In the end, it comes down to man's law versus God's law. To the faithful Christian, God's law trumps man's law, and the commitment to theonomy is comprehensive, i.e. it's not isolated to matters of the heart. Sinful man assumes autonomy, and that autonomy is equally comprehensive.
The modern unbeliever denies validity to the Christian worldview. It is their right to do so. They cannot, however, disallow the Christian from practicing his or her worldview. That would imply a theocratically humanistic tyranny; and this is what they seek. Their pretext for such tyranny is that these menacing reconstructionists "might" one day take up arms and kill us! It's the doctrine of pre-emption, and it's all the rage.
My wife and children are not oppressed. (In fact, they have a life. I tend to be the one slaving away night and day trying to provide for them--although my wife would claim that I chained myself to my desk!) What I am is a representative. I am a covenantal representative to my family of God's divine Word. My goal, however, is to create independent, self-governing men and women dedicated to applying God's law to their lives. I am not attempting to create a posterity that looks to me as Jacob's sons looked to Abraham. I cannot support that type of patriarchy. It's too self-serving. The emphasis must be on Christ, not an earthly father.
This is where the spiritual division of labor must exercise caution. Having web sites dedicated to patriarchy, agrarianism, etc. are helpful in terms of information, but readers must be careful to not misread what these exponents say as the cure-all for Christianity's ills. At the same rate, advocates of patriarchy and agrarianism are too often unjustly criticized because so much of modern Christianity is patterned after "this world," rather than Christ. I have heard of instances of abuse in "patriarchal" homes, but not any more than any other home. I have also been puzzled about the technological savvy of blogging agrarians--you can apparently plow with an ox but make money with MP3s. More power to ya!
My point is one of emphasis. Movements are a dime a dozen, but God's Word stands forever (1 Peter 1:24-25). So long as we encourage faithfulness we are quite orthodox, though we may focus upon a particular area of obedience to God. We do suffer in the modern age in terms of the role of a man and father, and solid Christian teachers are working to rectify that. We also suffer in many ways from the technological urbanism of modern living, and a return to simplicity will only remove barriers that hinder genuine worship and faithful Christian living. Were you to farm and enjoy family I can't imagine you'd contend much with the average problems of suburbanites.
Balance is the key in all of our pursuits, but not the type of balance that's synonymous with compromise. Balance means understanding that the human element is the detriment to all idealistic models whether they be models for the family, politics, or economics. The human element means both the sin element and the emotional element. Sinful people blemish pristine systems, and idealistic systems can damage emotional human beings. In the name of patriarchy we can easily become "sounding brass and tinkling cymbals" when love is forsaken in order to establish authority. This again is the responsibility of the first servant--the head of household. Only HIS prayers are hindered if he mistreats his family (1 Peter 3:7).
Life is fast, and my children are older, so much of my authority is exercised when mom says, "Ask Dad." After 20 years of marriage she hasn't deemed this tyranny as something to oppose, and I only hope I'm making the proper decisions for my family. I tend to focus on ethics, and leave other decisions to my sons only advising them with what I believe to be wisdom. They are learning to be governers, and we all are subservient to one Lord and His commanding Word.
I have a lot more to say about these matters, but I've got lots of ironing to do!
Wife: Chris, come and do these dishes!
Me: No! I will NOT come and do those dishes... not until I'm done with this ironing!
Although my story is fiction, my wife has long been a source of godly instruction within our home. In all honesty, I was not prepared properly for the role of a father and husband. Sure, I could size up a problem objectively and make a decision, but being a nurturing parent and spouse would come via "on-the-job training." However, my wife was a natural, and I'm still amazed at the love, goodness, kindness, and care that she shows for our children, myself, our pets, home, friends, etc. When it comes to being human, she's been one of my best teachers.
Yet, my wife also understands the blessing that comes with kicking decisions upline. In other words, "Ask Dad." But, the real challenge comes when I then say, "Ask Mom." Our poor kids.
Seriously, the Bible provides us with a divine order for the home--as it does for all of society--and that order is necessary to social stability. The problem, as in all systems, is that of sin. This is a Rushdoony axiom: "there are no metaphysical solutions because our problem is always ethical." Whether you're discussing the proper model for the family, or the proper system for economics, all systems fail because of sin. Socialism versus free market is a nonsensical discussion if man remains sinful. So is the discussion of a male-led home. Sinners will abuse any model.
The unbeliever makes marriage a discussion of equality when it is actually a discussion of order. When discussing order, the question is always, "what comes first?" Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--equal in kind, but not in order when revealed in history. The Father is first, and the Son demonstrates submission without complaint (John 8:26, 28, 29, 38, 42). The Spirit is sent forth from the Father and the Son, and He also ministers under submission (John 16:13). The man was created first (1 Tim. 2:13), and therefore retains primacy in divine order in the home (Eph. 5:22-23). However, this only makes him the "first servant" (Matt. 20:26-27; 23:11).
This is godly order, and this must be defended. At present, my right to "command my household" (Gen. 18:19) to serve God is not under threat. My children do not attend public schools, so there is no danger of that sewage reaching their minds. They were taught the commandments of God and willingly embrace that worldview. I shield them. I protect them. I isolate them as best I can. I systematically disparage the lunacy of liberal man, and my older sons are quite adept at doing the same. (You bet your life I'm protecting them. The quackery of humanistic secularism remains the ideological virus of greatest concern.)
It's not, however, "gay marriage" that immediately threatens my right to serve God within my household. It's the paranoid propaganda of the Christophobics that are spewing venomous lies that Christian homeschooling families are raising a generation of children to take up arms in some sort of genocide of liberals. This has consistently been the central motif in the secularist's theocratic conspiracy theory: the threat of genocide.
I honestly don't know how to respond to that allegation. The very idea is beyond repulsive to every Christian I've ever met. Our critics attempt to tie the isolated incidents of attacks on abortion clinics and doctors as somehow representative of the whole of conservative Christianity. They use this wacko conspiracy theory to stop conservative Christians from practicing their religion. So much for the religious freedom these bleeding hearts claim to tout.
Sinful man has always resisted God's ordained order. In religious terms, this is the essence of man's struggle throughout history. The issue is summed up in the oft-quoted refrain from Van Til: "autonomy or theonomy." In the end, it comes down to man's law versus God's law. To the faithful Christian, God's law trumps man's law, and the commitment to theonomy is comprehensive, i.e. it's not isolated to matters of the heart. Sinful man assumes autonomy, and that autonomy is equally comprehensive.
The modern unbeliever denies validity to the Christian worldview. It is their right to do so. They cannot, however, disallow the Christian from practicing his or her worldview. That would imply a theocratically humanistic tyranny; and this is what they seek. Their pretext for such tyranny is that these menacing reconstructionists "might" one day take up arms and kill us! It's the doctrine of pre-emption, and it's all the rage.
My wife and children are not oppressed. (In fact, they have a life. I tend to be the one slaving away night and day trying to provide for them--although my wife would claim that I chained myself to my desk!) What I am is a representative. I am a covenantal representative to my family of God's divine Word. My goal, however, is to create independent, self-governing men and women dedicated to applying God's law to their lives. I am not attempting to create a posterity that looks to me as Jacob's sons looked to Abraham. I cannot support that type of patriarchy. It's too self-serving. The emphasis must be on Christ, not an earthly father.
This is where the spiritual division of labor must exercise caution. Having web sites dedicated to patriarchy, agrarianism, etc. are helpful in terms of information, but readers must be careful to not misread what these exponents say as the cure-all for Christianity's ills. At the same rate, advocates of patriarchy and agrarianism are too often unjustly criticized because so much of modern Christianity is patterned after "this world," rather than Christ. I have heard of instances of abuse in "patriarchal" homes, but not any more than any other home. I have also been puzzled about the technological savvy of blogging agrarians--you can apparently plow with an ox but make money with MP3s. More power to ya!
My point is one of emphasis. Movements are a dime a dozen, but God's Word stands forever (1 Peter 1:24-25). So long as we encourage faithfulness we are quite orthodox, though we may focus upon a particular area of obedience to God. We do suffer in the modern age in terms of the role of a man and father, and solid Christian teachers are working to rectify that. We also suffer in many ways from the technological urbanism of modern living, and a return to simplicity will only remove barriers that hinder genuine worship and faithful Christian living. Were you to farm and enjoy family I can't imagine you'd contend much with the average problems of suburbanites.
Balance is the key in all of our pursuits, but not the type of balance that's synonymous with compromise. Balance means understanding that the human element is the detriment to all idealistic models whether they be models for the family, politics, or economics. The human element means both the sin element and the emotional element. Sinful people blemish pristine systems, and idealistic systems can damage emotional human beings. In the name of patriarchy we can easily become "sounding brass and tinkling cymbals" when love is forsaken in order to establish authority. This again is the responsibility of the first servant--the head of household. Only HIS prayers are hindered if he mistreats his family (1 Peter 3:7).
Life is fast, and my children are older, so much of my authority is exercised when mom says, "Ask Dad." After 20 years of marriage she hasn't deemed this tyranny as something to oppose, and I only hope I'm making the proper decisions for my family. I tend to focus on ethics, and leave other decisions to my sons only advising them with what I believe to be wisdom. They are learning to be governers, and we all are subservient to one Lord and His commanding Word.
I have a lot more to say about these matters, but I've got lots of ironing to do!
